Halfway through the day today when Lydia flipped out in the school parking lot, I texted a friend and suggested we meet and get sh*% faced. Her immediate response was "yes, please." Of course, that's ridiculous. I can barely make it through a drink without passing out halfway through because I relax just enough to forget to keep myself awake. Not a good plan when I have to do school pick up at 3pm. What would my excuse be? I took a sip of wine at lunch and just now woke up, don't judge me.
I bet that's just what people would do.
But the whole idea got me thinking about when I was 21 (I waited until the very day to take my first drink... if you knew me back then, please don't comment). I could drink a whole drink and still stay up all night. Ok, yes, it was probably closer to 6 drinks. Like I said: just keep it to yourself....and the next day, I'd wake up at 7 am and go to work. The problem now is, not only do I have to be available 24/7, I also have to be ready for anything. A few examples: Poop everywhere, minor to serious injury's, asthma attacks and strange rashes, pee on the floor (which is just a given), screaming, thrashing mini-people, non-stop begging (which can be a scary trap to watch out for: "But you said Marek could!" Yikes.), and countless other incidents that cannot wait even one more minute for my attention. Sleeping through the night isn't even worth bringing up, let alone a long afternoon nap after a sip of wine.
So, my friends and I, we dream about when we're old and the roles have changes. Our kids have to be ready for us. Just you wait, you little punks, just you wait....but by then the most exciting its likely gonna get is a call from me saying, "come get your kids, they peed on my floor."
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