Thursday, October 27, 2011

Grocery Shopping

I need to go grocery shopping. I've needed to all week and its absolutly the last freakin thing I want to do. Here's why: I'm afraid of Lydia. Ok, not so much of Lydia herself but how she will act and what that will provoke out of me. I can sit back and watch a tantrum calmly for hours while inwardly freaking out and planning ways to get my child back when they're teenagers. But, if I have a shopping list and 4-6 little kids to help me with it, I can be tempted to yell. Or just leave a kid in the store. I'd come back, of course...I would, really. Anyway, back to the yelling...when Marek was 5 he told Nate's sisters that I'm the mean mommy elephant (that was a rough week). I've learned a lot about self-control since then, but I think Mean Mommy Elephant is still hiding in there waiting for shopping trips with kids strapped to her back and others screaming at me and throwing themselves down in the middle of an asile. And even I'm a little afraid.

So, grocery shopping is still on the table, but Playhouse Disney cuddled up in mommy's bed sounds way better. Too bad I'm starving.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


I locked myself out of the house this morning while taking the trash out and I'm pretty sure that Raina would have left me out there if she was the only one home. The reason I know this is Rowan was all the way in the living room and Raina was sitting right there by the door. Ro was the one who eventually opened it.

Oh, Raina. What a loving soul.

Yesterday was her day to take snack to school. She forgot it on the kitchen table and I knew she would be totally crushed if I didn't bring it to her. So I dressed myself and most of the kids, usually one escapes me, and rushed all the way to the other side of town to drop it off in time for snack. When I picked her up, the only thing she had to say about the snack was, "can I eat the leftovers?" (I think I forgot to mention that a very large portion of her day, everyday is spent either asking for or eating food). So, I asked her if she'd forgotten something important that morning and if it had made it to school anyway. She couldn't think of a single thing. I should have just left it, but I'm an idiot and just couldn't. I really wanted my 5 year old child to recognize my hard work and unconditional love. Finally, I just told her that her siblings and I brought the damn snack all the way to school for her (I didn't say damn, but at this point I really wanted to). Her smart-ass relpy? "Well, Mommy you should have reminded me to take it in the first place." And so I left her on the side of the road...

And now I'm going to go give my kids candy corn so they stop screaming at each other. Thanks again, Meg (and this time I mean it).

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I've thought about writing a blog for awhile. Mostly for myself because I like to write but also so that I have documentation of my kid's younger years and all the crazy shit they do. I have six of them from just under 8 years to two weeks old. That may sound like a lot and it certanly is close together, but as I've always said: I'm breeding slaves. And if I have enough of them, at least one should be willing to take care of me and Nate when we get old. I realize there's a lot of hard work to be put in right now if they're gonna make good cheap labor and then, like us enough later on to be willing to take us in. So for now, my fingers are crossed. It could go either way.
I think I should give an idea of what I've got to work with.
Our oldest, Marek. Basically a perfect clone of Nate. On weekends they stay up late together, long after I've crashed (I usually last until about 8pm) playing video games. Sometimes I hear them laughing and cheering - or politly swearing from upstairs. In case you don't know, politly swearing is words like "dang it" which Marek informed me just yesterday is a swear word but only if you say it too many times...Anyway, Marek is a good big broher too. He plays with his siblings and breaks up their fights and always wrestles gently so Rowan can join in. For the record, Rowan is not a pansy. He's just 6 times smaller than everyone else, so he's fragile. I think one of my favorit things about Marek is that he's very honest...let me rephrase that, he's honest unless its admitting to some offense he's commited. Then he can lie like a champ. The honesty that I admire is his ability to tell me w/o fear that I'm being a crabby witch. Example: recently, I was actually trying to apologize to Raina for yelling and I said "it's just that I'm..." and I was gonna say tired but before it could come out of my mouth Marek said matter-or-factly: "crabby". The little sh%#...
Anyway, moving on to Raina. Raina cried for the first 3 years of her life and to this day wakes up all night long, or doesn't even sleep for all I know. She used to wake me up each time with some excuse like, I have to pee, but that gets suspicious after being said every 5 minutes for 3 hours. So she eventually learned to just leave me alone and I would do the same for her. Raina is actually very sweet and affectionate despite all the crying and she makes friends everywhere she goes. She doesn't really like Ro for some reason, though so she's mean to him. I think its cause he showed up with his adorable, huge head and took away her cutest baby status. She may never recover.
Rowan is the perfect example of a middle child. He's turning 4 in a few months and until about last week he "absolutly could not" dress himself, wipe his butt, blow on his own food if its too hot (we do it together now), or sleep in his own bed all night. He'd end up on our floor. And how did he get away with all of this? Well, he's one of the cutest kids I've ever seen. Now, I have 6 kids and I love them all equally and find them all equally attractive. The difference, though between Rowan and the others is his ability to use his cuteness to his advantage which somehow he's been capable of since birth. In my family growing up, we always called my brother Mark the favorite (another middle child) and now I see why we thought that. He played the cards to his advantage. Its amazing what you learn when you have a million kids of your own.
That brings us to Lydia. Little Lyd came out smiling and seriously didn't stop (even when startled awake) until about 6 months old. Then she started screaming....we're working on it. I swear, when she snapped I really thought something was wrong with her. We even went to the damn doctor, who of course laughed at me. Here is an example if the insanity. Lyd loves purses. When she discovered them, she could spend hours opening and closing the zippers while sometimes switching the contents and sometimes just talking to them. About every other time she opened her damn purse, she couldn't get it closed again. And so she would scream at the top of her lungs while banging the purse (and all its sometimes fragile contents) on whatever hard surface was close by. As soon as she got it closed, her face would light up with a smile and she'd announce to everyone her accomplishment. I learned to sit back and enjoy the show. I think thats all I need to say about Lydia.
Perrin. He loves to dance and he's a pretty happy guy. But watch out because he's got a hell of an arm. His joy in life, besides stealing from Lydia, is throwing whatever he gets his hands on as hard as he can. I'm not sure about his aim though because the other day he was happily throwing a crayon that went behind him every time. When it finally went the right way: frontwards, he screamed in anger and went to find something else to do.
So, finally little Fela. So far at 2 weeks old we're just waitng to see what we've got. She does poop a lot. That's something.
So, thats my family, besides my husband Nate who I think is a pretty cool guy. We're great friends except when I'm emoitional from too little sleep or having/nursing/caring for a day we'll get to hang out again. Untill then we have 6 insane but lovely kids to keep us busy....
God, I miss Happy Hour.