Rewrite: Taking On the Unthinkable

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teacher. I mostly liked the idea of ordering other people around. Now that I'm grown up, I find my dream of dictatorship exhausting. My job now is to police my children which, I won't lie, comes naturally. And their job apparently is to defy me. I loved sending them to school. Too bad we don't always get what we want. I took them out of their wonderful school this year for many reasons, all of them solid. I think God is playing a joke on me. Despite my aversion to hard work, I knew that I had no choice. Home school was my best option and I have some amazing friends who make it look easy. So, after conversing with the wise and looking into options, I dove in. Many days are a sad struggle. Getting them to stop playing and do their work is like making them eat worms or clean the toilet: lots of whining and looks of disgust. Luckily for me, I have good role models. People who have years of experience with multiple kids and home schooling. They know some tricks. I've only done this for two months and I've already considered quitting or running away (just kidding, Nate). I picture my kids flipping burgers or worse, taking a shift standing beside the highway with a pathetic sign begging for money, all because I failed them as a teacher. Instead of diving into melodrama, I find my wise friends and pick their brains. The outcome never disappoints. I get new ideas and hear great stories. Their persistence and confidence inspires me to keep trying. So, after a day of new methods, I think maybe I can do it tomorrow too. I'll have to remember the look on their faces when they learn stuff. When they look at me and smile happily, proud of what they now know. I honestly can't take much credit for this, I'm totally copying smarter people. But I do like the result and I'm impressed by my kids. Their brains are functional and that's enough for me today.