Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Doctor's Office

Oh, the joy of going to the Doc.

My kids call their doctor "the funniest doctor". His real name is Dr. Anderburg, but I don't think any of them know that. Every time we have to go, the kids get all excited. Same with the dentist, actually. The little weirdos...Anyway, its always an adventure for me. Six to one is pretty unfair numbers. Four to one is even pretty bad, but somehow we always survive it. In the past, I'd need a drink or two afterwards just to calm my nerves. Now that I don't drink I usually just scream into a pillow for 4 or 5 minutes when we get home. It works and no one gets hurt. Well, so far.

This morning's doctor's office adventure started the same as usual. It was just the four youngest but in a way that's worse because there's no one to hold the doors for me or grab a fleeing one year old every five seconds. We made it safely through the parking lot and through the first doorway before we heard the inevitable "are these all yours?" I have to refrain from telling people "no, I just bring extras for practice."

We made it to the room in the back without losing anyone, although at that point I'd almost thrown out my back two or three times trying to carry the always squirming and plotting Perrin in one arm and Fela in her 100 lb carseat in the other. Rowan and Fela were being seen, so we went through all the preliminary undressing and weighing and peeing on Mommy. Ro was excited, as always. Even when he knew he was getting shots. He assured me and the nurse that he likes shots. That was a red flag right there, but I think I'd rather them find out it hurts after they're on the table and all escape routes are blocked. I learned from Marek that a kid trying to avoid a shot is stronger than me and will give me bruises before we can finally hold him down long enough to shoot him up.

In the end, Rowan and Fela both screamed like banshees while giving me an evil look which I took to mean "what the hell have you done?" and "you're gonna pay for this." Yeah, yeah. After their shots, Lydia saw that the attention had shifted far from her, so she insisted on getting bandaids. Loudly. Perrin spent most of the time that my attention was elsewhere, lunging from one chair to another. I told him he was gonna fall on his head, which he eventually did. I said "I told you so," and then he got right back up and did it again. Whatever. I'm pretty sure he's already got brain damage anyway.

After all that it took another 15 minutes to pull everything together and actually leave the room and head to the check out. Fela was pissed, still is in fact. She added a new octave to her crying today. I hope she's not storing it away in her memory for when she gets older and learns from Lydia how to act mad at me. Which, by the way is Lyd's new favoite thing to say to everyone. I'm afraid to take her to church because I can just imagine her walking up to the priest and saying "I'm mad at you, Fr. Ed." She does that to Rowan. Just randomly walks up to him and says loudly "I'm mad at you Ro-Ro!" He looks up at her for a second and then continues on with whatever he was doing. He knows she's insane, I think.

So, that was today. I'm done with it.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should use that line of bringing more kids for practice :) And I totally I agree about the car seats weighing so much, it is insane! I will have to give the yelling in the pillow a try, I usually just do it out loud........ loved it all- Shauna