I've found myself facing some major personal changes in the last year. Things that I've held onto very tightly for as long as I can remember. I've spent many hours trying to decide if I can actually do these things and if it's worth the struggle that it will be most likely for the rest of my life. Deep down, I've known that its worth it. I have a family that I love, I have many friends that make me laugh and also encourage me to be the best me, and most importantly, I believe in a God who is good. That's enough for me on a big scale, but some days it's easy to forget those things and only see myself. Now, that is a damn shame. I know it because myself without God, family, and good friends is lacking. You'd think that would be enough to make the right choice each day, but it's just not. Sometimes I just don't care if I'm selfish.
So, I decided that I would wake early every morning, no matter how many times I got up in the night, and pray. Such a simple thing, but not so easy to do. It means dying a little bit to myself and seeking someone other than myself. It also means that I have to put myself and my wants aside and seek the Lord who will most definatly ask me to put aside those very things that I just don't want to let go. Today, I read about Paul. I read that he considered his life dear only so that he could fulfill the ministry he had received from God. I found that so impressive. A true dying to himself for God. Paul knew that he was not his own but that he belonged to Jesus Christ and that was all that mattered to him. It was all he needed to know to lay down himself and give up the things that separated him from God. In 1Corinthans 6:19 it says that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and therefore is not our own. We have been purchased at a price, and therefore we should glorify God with our bodies. That makes sense to me.
I decided to write about this today because I'm learning that these things that I don't want to give up are not worth trading for the love and grace of God. That is all I need, everything else will come together because God is good.